Being a Servant

Last night I couldn't fall asleep, because I kept thinking about my new house and Watts and my new life that will be starting soon. Then I realized (probably through the prompting of the Holy Spirit most likely) that I am selfish and am not yet the servant God wants me to be. It may seem like I am a servant because of the kind of thing I am committing myself to, but what people don't always understand is that I love this life and it is actually my preference. However, when it comes to serving those outside "my people" I seem to fall short on the servant scale. Why? I think it's because I have not been in the word as much as I need to be. It's funny how I think I can live even one day of godliness without immersing myself (not a sprinkle, but a full emersion) in His word. So I asked God last night what it means to be a real servant, and I think it just means putting others above myself and seeing others as better than myself. "Others" means everyone, not just my Watts people or my best friends, everyone!!! So I pray that Jesus teaches me through His word what real servanthood is like and transforms my heart, so that it overflows with love and servitude for everyone. Yep that's about it...peace and love!

...and so the adventure begins!!!

It's been a while, I know, however I did not want to post anything until things settled down. For the past few months I have been praying for a house and a job. Since I did not know exactly how I should be praying for this I prayed that Jesus would close the doors He did not want me to go through and open ones specifically for me.

First the house...

About a month ago, my cousin and I began looking for houses in Watts, Los Angeles. Because these houses are not generally advertised for online or in the paper, we spent an entire weekend driving through every, and I mean EVERY street in Watts. When we saw a house that had a "For Rent" sign in the front or "Se Rente" one of us would yell, "for rent!" and the one driving would slam on the brakes and back up until we could read the address and phone number on the sign (there was some fence hopping involved in this search). Finally we had our list of approximately 15 houses. We started calling leasers, and each time the leaser would either laugh at us or try to convince us that we weren't talking about the same area. Finally we were able to start viewing homes, however, God showed us that there was something clearly wrong with each of the 15 houses. Finally, we had crossed out all the houses on our list.

The day we crossed out our last house, I was feeling discouraged, and so we decided to just drive around a bit. We saw a lady selling really nice looking couches in front of her house, and for some reason, not like I had the money to buy a couch, we decided to stop and look at the couches. As we were looking, we started talking with this lady about how we had been looking for houses to rent and how we could not find anything that was just right. She looked at us for a while, I think trying to make sense of why we wanted to move to this specific area, and then she said, "You know, the house next door is for rent." Joanna and I looked next door but saw not "For Rent" sign up. She continued "The owner is very picky about who he lets rent from him, but you seem like nice girls so I will give him your contact information if you give it to me." We did just that and soon the owner called Joanna. We viewed the house last weekend and we knew that this was the house the Lord had hand-picked for us. The owner is now mailing us applications and we plan to move in the beginning of July (pictures to come)!!!

Next, the job...

I had applied for probably over 30 teaching positions and interviewed with about 3 places, with not much luck. Research shows that the teaching market has not been this bad since the 1970s. Yikes! A few months back, though, when Joanna and I were completing our student teaching at Grape Street Elementary School, the assistant principal called his friend who was the vice principal of Audubon Middle School (LAUSD) in Leimert Park in Los Angeles, recommending us to him. Little did we know that Audubon, although not advertising, were looking for new math teachers. We were contacted by THEM and set up a three day teaching interview. I taught three sixth grade classes and one eight grade class and Joanna taught all eighth grade classes. Let me say this was one of the most stressful experiences of my life, because my graduation was the weekend before and Joanna and I had to move out of our apartment in the midst of these three days. In other words little sleep occurred!

We came back to the school on Friday for a final debriefing with the principal at which time were were both offered positions as 7th and 8th grade teachers. Now maybe you are wondering how I am able to teach 7th and 8th grade with only a multiple subject credential. Well Audubon has a "gifted/magnet" program in which I will be teaching. Because this is a specialized program, LAUSD will allow me to teach despite only having a multiple subject credential. However, the school does want me to receive my single subject credential in math within the next year (something I had been wanting to do already).

But wait, there's more...

I spend my Wednesday evenings helping out at a children's bible study in Imperial Courts Housing Projects held by World Impact Ministries. I love helping out because a lot of the kids from Grape Street go to the bible study and we have been building a rapport with each other. I have been mentoring a little third grade girl who is so excited to spend time at our new house over the summer and I have build a behavioral contract with a little boy who used to get kicked out of the bible study once every two weeks or so because of his behavior. This child has been improving his behavior tremendously which has been not only a blessing to me but also to the bible study leader who was not sure how to deal with this child herself.

I found out a couple weeks ago that the World Impact intern who usually leads bible study had to leave to go home permanently and that they were looking for a replacement. I asked Jesus to please let the pastor of the church say no if He did not want me to lead the bible study. When I asked the pastor's wife, she was so excited and told me that she would love me to lead the study. I start in July (pictures to come)!!!

So I suppose that I can conclude that when I asked God to build His ministry through me and my life in Watts, He knew exactly what He was doing. I know that this is where he wants me now I continue to pray that His will be done and His ministry be built. As my adventure begins I can not wait to share with all of you who read this blog, the faithfulness and power of Jesus Christ, Jehovah Jireh!!!!

x

God's Ministry--not mine!!

Wow, so I have moved on to my second student teaching placement in Downey, CA. I haven't blogged much at all because there is nothing to report. It is tough not being with my Watts kids and I miss them every day, but the Lord is slowly softening my heart for the students I have now and I am grateful for that because I would not know how to love them otherwise (praise him). Graduation is the end of May and Joanna and I move into Watts in July. We still don't have a house picked out yet but I am certain God will provide us with something perfect.

I was recently reminded how much I overcommit. Sometimes I don't realize that I have committed to something until after I have spoken. God has been recently teaching me that I don't have to commit to everything because He has a specific ministry for me that He will reveal in His timing. In the meantime I must be obedient and move to Watts. I really feel that He has pressed upon my heart to move into the community and specifically NOT start my own anything. I feel like I am just supposed to move there and wait and pray for Him to reveal His ministry for the area. Praise Him!

I have now chosen one Watts thing to do a week; the Wednesday night World Impact children's bible study (I am interested in teaching it next fall). I love to help out and just be around the beautiful children. Otherwise, I will be going to my church in South Central LA and working on school applications (please pray that God's will be done with that). It's hard to take a step back, but I can't do everything and God has not even shown me His ministry yet.

side note - I drove around Watts today dropping off my resume and other information to different elementary schools because LAUSD emailed me saying that no schools in the district were hiring.

I can end by saying Praise the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, without whom I would be a total mess! I'm just trying to keep it real...

Quiero Aprender Espanol

Durante mi tiempo a Grape Street, realizo que nececito aprender espanol mas mejor. Durante las conferencias con los padres, realizo que muchos padres hablan solamente en espanol. Puedo tranducir un pocito pero no bueno. Porque muchas personas en Watts hablan en Espanol, creo que es importante para aprender espanol muy bien para puedo hablar con personas sobre Jesus. no puedo escribir mucho en espanol pero quise tratar. Espero que alguien entiene eso jajaja.

Have a wonderful Easter and God Bless (Dios Bendigo)

Prayer

I haven't written yet this week because I have been so discouraged and emotionally drained that I have not known what to write about. Because of issues with "Mark" and his mother that I am not going to get into right now, I am not able to go to the projects to pick him up for church any more. His mother seems to want control of him no matter what it takes. In addition, in talking with my amazing mom, I have realized that I can not do everything I am doing right now and stay sane. I need to finish my TPA and student teaching, and apply for jobs right now. It has been painful to back off, but I know that it is necessary.

Through all of this, I have come to realize the importance of prayer. Although I can not be with my students outside of school, I can seriously pray for them, their families and the community of Watts in general. Prayer allows the Spirit to intercede and prayer is real and powerful. I have been praying for Mark and his mother, that she can come to realize that she needs Christ and that I am someone she can go to and trust. I have also been praying that the Lord would reconcile my relationship with this boy, even though I won't be seeing him outside of school.

In general, he has been acting crazy this entire week. His behavior has been rude, inappropriate and frankly out of control. Today he would not stay quiet during an assessment, so I made him sit on the floor and take the test. He got loud with me and I had to get loud right back until he sat on the floor. The spirit moved in me and gave me words to say to him. I eventually came back to him, got down on his level and said, "You were created for more than this. You were made with a purpose and no one else can complete that purpose. I am so mad at you because you are better than this and you are not living up to your potential. That ticks me off!"

He said nothing in response but his behavior started to change. He did not talk out of turn again. When the students were working on their essays. I asked him to read over his partner's essay and help her with it. When I looked back at him, he was looking like a big brother as he gently helped the little girl sitting next to him make corrections on her paper. It was the most beautiful thing I have seen the classroom in a long time.

Prayer is important! Prayer works!

...I still can't wait to move though ;)

Update on "Mark"

Thank you for your prayers for my student, I'll call him "Mark", who accepted Christ Wednesday night at bible study. Thursday was a bad day and I was wondering what God was doing. Mark would not listen in the classroom and refused to do any work. The master teacher had to call his mother who came swiftly and cursed Mark out in the hallway, sending him back into the classroom crying. I was so upset and wondered why his conversion didn't change his behavior.

It took me a while to realize that "Mark" probably does not know what it means to be a Christian, and that his discipleship will be a long process. I am not exactly sure how to disciple this child, but I will try my best and illicit the help of those attending the World Impact Church.

My cousin and I prayed for "Mark" today before school. We prayed specifically for his behavior and that he would have peace in the classroom. PRAISE THE LORD!!! He answered our prayers and Mark's behavior was much improved; his brilliancy really shined today through his interaction with others and his work in the classroom. Before I left, I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up for church on Sunday and he nodded. Then he said, "Miss Hill are you going to bible study on Wednesday too?" I told him I was...I look forward to seeing his growth in Christ and his journey in becoming a man of God.

Shalom!

Welcome a New Little Brother in the Kingdom!!!!!

I am so spiritually and emotionally exhausted, but I had to write about this. I went to the projects today to pick up one of my students to bring him to bible study at the World Impact Church (because I go to the church, I can get away with picking up the kid because I do not affiliate myself with the school and I am acting as a church member). This specific child has been having problems acting crazy in school for a while (calling girls ***** and the like). In addition, I have suspected for some time now that he is being attacked by demons.

When the child and I got to the church, we played football for a while. He was so sweet and told me how I should be throwing and catching the ball correctly. He played with the other children there but he never went too far from my side. I went to the children's bible study so I could be with him, and so that I could help out if needed (I met a couple of really cool people my age who were also helping). At the beginning of the class, the teacher asked the students if any of them had not asked Jesus to come into their hearts. My child raised his hand. Another helper and I took the three kids who had raised their hands outside to talk with them about Jesus. After we all talked in a group. I asked if I could take my child aside separately as he appeared to be the most interested in asking Jesus to be in his heart.

I asked him if I could cast demons off him and his home (I explained to him what that was), and he said yes. After I cast the demons out, he asked Jesus to forgive him of his sins (he listed specific sins he had committed in the past. Then I prayed that Jesus would come into his heart. I explained to him that accepting Jesus allows you to be a new person in Him. I also told him that unlike his father (who left when he was little), Jesus will never leave his heart. After we prayed I asked him how he felt. He said, "I feel like I'm gonna cry." He said it was a happy kind of crying. When I asked him why he was happy, he said, "I don't know, I'm just happy."

Please be praying for this child that he grows in his knowledge about and love for the Lord. Please also pray that Jesus would use me to help this child grow in his faith and discipleship. I love this child and I would like nothing more than to see my little brother in heaven one day. If you would like to know the child's name so you can specifically pray for him, please just call or text and I will tell you (I want to keep all children's names confidential in my blog)

Peace out!